did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
