He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
