just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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