So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
