In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
