So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
