I'm going to jail i love you
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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