That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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