the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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