Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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