i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
