wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
