Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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