Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Can I color on your dick again?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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