so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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