once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
