And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
