Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
