Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
