But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
