dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
