from now on my penis is your penis
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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