Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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