I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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