He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I wish they made helmets for livers.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
