Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
