Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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