I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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