Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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