Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
