u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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