tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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