We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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