That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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