so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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