I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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