Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize