i think i have herpe
just one?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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