my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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