In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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