Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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