He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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