I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
