Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
