you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
