dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
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