im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Is it because I queefed?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
