thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
