I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
There's always time for handjobs
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
