i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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