Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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