Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
