these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
