I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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