he wants to bone in the snuggie
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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