You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize