We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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