I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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