Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
