Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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