Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
