I look better un-naked...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize