My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
This is my gift to your gina
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
