sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize