it's not cheating when I paid for it
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
