I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
