high people should be assigned attendants
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
