I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
