i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
She announced her abortion via fbk
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
