Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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