do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
